Becoming Emotionally Present
Welcome everyone to my new Website, 'Enriching Relationships Newcastle.'
My business name up until now has been 'Solutions for LIfe Counselling'. However since assisting people in relationships for a number of years it has become my primary focus and passion.
Therefore I have decided on the name change to better illustrate my focus.
I would like to begin 2016 by sharing one of the reasons couples can unconsciously begin to disconnect from each other. Usually its sometime after the 'honeymoon period' is over, and that is that they can become so involved in other areas of life, whether outside interests, work, raising children, and even in themselves that they forget to become 'Emotionally Present' with each other.
Becoming 'emotionally present' with your partner is becoming more aware of your partner's presence in general, their words, feelings, facial expressions, body behaviour, expressed needs etc. We can learn a lot about each other from just becoming more emotionally aware & present.
Choosing to become more emotionally present with each other can create a closer and more intimate and caring connection and bond as we demonstrate thoughtfulness, empathy, curiosity, understanding & validation etc.
For example, your partner comes across as being distant or withdrawn. Instead of 'reading' into what you think is happening, consider asking them, 'is everything okay, it appears you are not your normal self.' Becoming more curious and empathic with each other, can result in feeling closer and more loved. This will mean choosing to become more attuned to each other on a regular basis, if that intimate connection is to be maintained and strengthened. After the early days of passion & romance, becoming more conscious & willing to meet each others emotional needs is necessary, if the relationship is to be nurtured and fulfilled.
Of course you may say that you do this all the time, but your partner just says, 'I'm okay, there's nothing wrong, and isn't able to express what is going on more deeply for them.'
If they aren't able to open up, then at least you have expressed your concern & thoughtfulness, and perhaps they will open up more at a later time. Especially if you let them know you are open to being a listening ear at any time.
Julie is a certified and registered Newcastle Counsellor, Relationship Therapist and Life Coach, specialising in working with individual people and couples in the area of relationships and general needs.